Relationships Built Through Scentsy

I received the sweetest text from a very special friend this morning. She opened her TimeHop app and this is what popped up 6 years ago today.

I had been a Scentsy consultant for just over a year at that time and I had met Amy through Facebook. We had one mutual friend at the time and somehow we connected. Amy makes the most adorable hand appliquéd crafts and baby clothing. I instantly fell in love with her creativity. At that time of my life, I spent most of my time crafting.... scrapbooking, repurposing second hand goodies, coffee cozies, and more. Amy and I grew a friendship through Facebook over warmers & wax and crafts & creativity.

Six years later, countless phone conversations, we have grown to be incredible friends. We have grown together and worked our successful Scentsy Family businesses side by side. Without Scentsy and our incredible products, we probably wouldn't know each other today. I can't imagine not having her on this journey of life and business with me.

Today we have 225 mutual friends on Facebook. This blows me away. This simply means that the business we are in is all about relationships. It's humbling, really, to know so many people all because of our growing businesses. When I joined, one of the main reasons that I invested that $99 was to make friends. Little did I know then, that by sharing a product that I loved, I would be blessed beyond my wildest dreams with honest, authentic, lovely friends.

This community that we have built and the friendship we have will forever keep us on the phone, sharing ideas... laughing, crying, and goal setting together. We have both grown into people we didn't recognize 6 years ago. Even though we live hundreds of miles away and only see each other once or twice a year, we pick up right where we left off. I love friendships like this. I'm grateful that I have many relationships like this. Some from high school, college, church and maybe a work place or two.... but most of my friendships are with women who are building a legacy for their children with Scentsy.

I'll never forget the feeling I felt when in October 2011, Amy reached Super Star Director (our highest title in the Scentsy Family!) She hit this lofty and amazing milestone before I did and I'll always remember that I honestly didn't care about myself or my goals in that moment. There was something so special and made my heart leap for joy at the thought of my friend reaching the top of the mountain! All I could think was how absolutely proud I was of her. And then I worked like heck to follow her footsteps to the top!

This perfectly describes what our Scentsy Family is about: giving more than you take, investing in others to help them be successful, celebrating with arrows out.

I'm humbled and blessed to be able to call Amy friend.... along with so many other women that I've met along this crazy journey. As I reflected on these relationships today, I can't help but feel overjoyed. Grateful. Honored. Happy.

Thank you for sharing today Amy. I can't wait to see what the next 6 years has in store for both of us. Cheers to our friendship.

A Weight of Happiness!

When I took off his wet diaper this morning, all I could do was pray and beg God for some weight gain, as I placed him on the baby scale.  Every pump, every bottle, every sleepy eye was worth what we saw today! Joel and I were completely surprised to see that our little Anchor had quadrupled his birth weight! When we saw the scale read 7 lb 15 oz we both may have squealed a little bit. Walking into our appointment, we were hoping for 7 lb 8 oz, so to have almost another half pound above your expectation was beyond thrilling!

During our stay in the NICU, our son had to be put on several different milk fortifiers (formula that they add to the breastmilk) to get him to gain any weight. Every formula we tried would just tear his little guts up. Finally, exhausted with trying and failing, Dr Stevens and I both decided that we could try only breastmilk. Now here's to preface that I have a TON of milk! A little perspective; I have almost 3,000 ounces in our freezer and have fed Anchor from the beginning plus I've provided supplemental milk for a sweet baby girl too.

When we started exclusively feeding breastmilk, he started losing weight. For 3 days he lost weight and to be honest, that was one of the worst feelings as his mom. He had gone through so much just to get to the point of just being a 'feeder and grower' (NICU term for a baby that just needs to get bigger before they can go home) that losing weight from your mama's milk just stinks.

However, on the 4th day he finally gained a few grams. The next day a few more. And ever since then, he has been growing like crazy!

It's been a little bit exhausting doing the double duty of pumping, pouring into bottles, feeding him, washing bottles and pumping supplies and doing it all over again. However, after so many tears and so much frustration over the past few months, today truly felt like a victory!

Today Anchor Joel feels like a newborn. Like a baby thriving in his environment and I couldn't feel any more relief that I do right now. His lungs will grow. They'll get bigger and stronger with time. His heart will prayerfully heal (his ASD -atrial septal defect- sometimes referred to as a hole in the heart — is a type of congenital heart defect in which there is an abnormal opening in the dividing wall between the upper filling chambers of the heart - will prayerfully go away as he gets bigger. 


And now... we can rest easier knowing that he is growing. A lot! Chubby babies makes this mama happy. 
The result from today's appointment makes me feel like we are on the next road of our journey. Almost like we are heading down the back stretch. During today's appointment, Anchor also had to have his 4 month vaccines. He cried. And then ate. 100% breastmilk. Almost 3 ounces. So it would be safe to say he is officially over 8 pounds. 
God is good. I'm so incredibly grateful. 

Who I Am Lately.

I've been struggling with writing. I'm not sure why other than feeling like I don't know how to share with you our everyday story exactly the way I want it to be told. Like I'm incapable of telling you how we are. So, tonight I'm going to start by sharing with you me. Who I am lately.

I am a wife. I am a nag. I am a mom. I am distracted. I am excited. I am a listener. I'm a screamer. I am a dog petter. I am the cook, cleaner and laundry stain scrubber. I am a leader. I am an encourager. I am scared. I am humbled. I am lonely but I am at peace. I am a snuggler and puzzle assistant. I'm a helper of homework and budget planner. I am a lemonade and coffee spill cleaner upper. I am a texter. I am a Food Network watcher... in the background of my day. I am a negotiator and questioner of insurance claims. I am forgetful... (Happy Birthday yesterday Mom! I love you!) I'm a procrastinator. I am crazy busy.... but yet crazy lazy. I'm a husband kisser. I'm a communicator. I am a baby milk producer. I am a PTSA member (just signed up tonight.) I am a Bible studier. I'm a story teller and book reader. I am a prayer over my husband, kiddos and home. I'm a hoarder of God's miracles (I promise to share soon.) I'm a collector of stationary. I am a monitor silencer. I am a student planner signer. I am a cheerleader and a play dough artist. I'm a pro diaper changer and also the recipient of an occasional pee pee shower! (EW! ... BOYS!) I am vulnerable. I am weak. I'm a taco pie maker and a chocolate chip cookie baker. I'm a swaddler. I am a pumpkin lover (like everything pumpkin including the pumpkin spice ice cream from Schwann's.... get yourself some!) I am a bath time attendee. I am a dishwasher. I am tired. I am a coffee and wine drinker... and a goldfish cracker eater. And so much more.

And this was just today. As I sit here and put down into words the exact feelings I had today; how I labeled myself today; I hear the Holy Spirit telling me who I really am.

I am a daughter of The King. First and foremost. I am strong because I have Christ and I don't have to go through my days trying to do and be it all. I have been given these gifts and responsibilities of being a wife, mom and business owner because The Lord loves me. And that is exciting and humbling. I have a story that needs to be told. Everyday. Even when I'm tired or feeling insignificant in the scheme of our day to day. Who would I be to not share His goodness? I am called to share our blessings with others. It's time to be brave. The words will come.

If you've been around for a while you'll know that I took a friend's challenge and wrote everyday a couple years ago for a long time (I didn't make it quite a year) but now I know that the only way I'll remember this season in our lives is if I write it down. And let's face it, I'm a way better typer than I am a writer. I want to remember. I want to share. So please join me. I'll be here.... being vulnerable, scattered but brave.

Change is tough

I knew tonight wasn't going to be easy. Change is hard. But anything worth doing is hard. Usually the right things to do are hard. 

I'm not sure if it's just for this season or forever, but tomorrow, we are sending our big girls off for school. 

We've homeschooled for the past 5 years. It's been a challenge and an adventure since day one. I never thought I'd be able to teach them well. There was always doubt, but never more than I'm feeling today. 

Although we had an amazing support system and group of friends who also home educate, all of the studies, prep and application fall on your hands as a mom and teacher. 

What if I didn't teach them well? We haven't had a routine for years and now what if they stink at time managemt like me? What if I overprotected them and they feel uncomfortable with the things life throws at them? What if they took on my personality of being shy and a little introverted? Would they still make good friends? Will they like their teacher? What if someone's mean to them? 

And then I remember and am quickly comforted that Jesus is always with our precious children... And with us. That even when it's hard or uncomfortable, we are okay. And we can get through this. 

I'm nervous but excited for them. I'm nervous but excited for me.... somehow keeping up with the littlest. We're up for the challenge of this next chapter. Because really, it's already a part of our new normal. 

When Plans Change

Today marks 81 days of life in the NICU. Today was also suppose to be the day that we were finally going to take our son through the hospital doors. But plans changed.

I've been able to take some curve balls with stride during the past 12 weeks here, but today was different. Today I felt devastated. Heartbroken. Sad. Frustrated. Defeated.

Today I also was humbled. Joel and I had taken down nearly all of his decorations. We said good bye to our nurses and friends.... because when they are pretty much the only people you've been around the past 3 months, they become friends who understand and love you through this big life event. He passed the car seat test. We took our CPR class. We finished all of our discharge checklist. He is gaining weight. We got comfortable with the easy coasting. We were used to taking only steps forward. It had been weeks since we've had a set back with Anchor's care; we were past that.

But we weren't. And we aren't.

During his morning check up, on the day of discharge, our little guys blood pressure was up. It had been slowly creeping up the past few days but we were told this is something we would just keep an eye on during our out patient care with our pediatrician. But this morning, we were told that it's high enough to be concerning. Anchor had to do more blood work and began blood pressure medicine per the request of the pediatric nephrologist from Seattle Childrens. They are sending his labs into Mayo Clinic for more comprehensive testing and to check kidney function.

So we are here. This is where we'll be until at least Sunday. And even though it's hard, and it sucks, and I'm sad, I know that this is exactly where we are suppose to be. The Lord's timing is always perfect and we will rest in that today.... and always.

Tonight, I will sit here, constantly being reminded of the blessings and constant favor God has shown us during the past few months... and I will rejoice.

I Write.

For some reason, I have not been here. Writing. On this blank, white screen.

Maybe it has been that I've been in the car the past 73 days. Driving back and forth to the hospital. Maybe it's been trying to nurse a teeny tiny baby with big huge boobs. Maybe it's been the lack of sleep. Or the lack of coffee. Or because I can't get these 'bing bings' from the monitors out of my head.

But what about the in between minutes and sometimes precious hours I was spending with our girls. Maybe it was because we were sitting on the back deck 'washing our toes' in the inflatable pool. Maybe I haven't written because I was cheering on our girls during the few games I got to watch this season. Maybe it's because we were hanging humming bird feeders, watering our new garden, or serving pretend 'cheeebugers' from the window on the new playhouse. Maybe.

Maybe it's because I'm drowning in medical bills and doctor appointments. Maybe it's because all I've been able to think about is which education is best for our two precious oldest daughters. Or maybe I haven't even opened my computer in weeks because I've been cleaning closets and spending my spare time journaling, sleeping and reading books that have been sitting on my shelf for too long that need to get finished. Maybe it's because Joel and I have been binge watching Scandal because our girls are away and we are completely bored with a list of to dos a mile long. Maybe.

But I think the main reason I haven't been here, why I haven't been present and openly talking about our journey is because the devil is telling me that no one wants to hear it. That I could never tell this story good enough. The story that I'm living. The journey that I'm on. That it wouldn't mean anything to anyone else. He's been telling me that I don't have time to share.

Sometimes it takes a sweet soul to remind you that Satan is not in control. Jesus is. And our story, this incredible story of ours... our everyday life...  the boring, the miraculous, the hard and sweet, the scary and joyful.... is meant to be shared.

I named this blog Everyday Jari. There is nothing special about me. No super powers that are getting me through this season in life. I deserve nothing. But I want this story, our story, here. I want to be raw and real, authentic and genuine... in the crazy and the lazy (<---- I'm already starting to pray for lazy days!)... but.. BUT I want to glorify Christ and live for Him. I want to share. And it's time I choose to be brave and talk about everything we've been going through. If for anything.... for me. For my family to have as a journal during this incredible, wonderful, stressful and beautiful season of our lives.

I Miss 'Normal'

Written on June 19, 2015:

Alyn hit an infield GRAND SLAM today during a game in Great Falls!

And both her dad and I missed it. This makes me sad. It's missing out on 'life' with our girls for the past 47 days that has been the hardest... and saying 'see ya later' to our son 3 times a day stinks too.

I just miss our normal. I miss not being able to braid the girls' hairs before their games. I miss cheering for them like a wild lady on the sidelines. I miss seeing Joel out there coaching the group of girls he loves so much. I miss chasing Avin around the park. I miss resting my hands on my pregnant belly. I miss Joel feeling the baby kick.

I may have had a little sadness in my voice when I asked Joel tonight.... "This is not how I pictured our summer. Did you?"

His instant reply "Nope. But God's plan is far better than we could ever imagine."

And it's so true.

I never thought in a million years that we would have our baby at 26 weeks. I never knew what joy and heartache we would endure. I don't even know how we are getting through these days with so much crazy and so much waiting we have to do.

I just miss our normal.

I would go on to tell you that I'm excited for our new life and what it looks like so I don't sound ungrateful or come off as a drag.... but I'm just being real. I'm just being honest. I miss our old normal. A lot.