A Clean House - With the Whole Family

I have to share with you what IS working for our family and it may work for yours too! 

House Cleaning! House cleaning?!  We have tried many (and I mean too many to remember) ways to get (and keep) our home clean. 

We've tried separating out the chores per day of the week, we had hired housekeepers not once but twice, we tried challenges and contests, we even pretended that Adele was coming over and we wanted to impress her and would run around like crazy people to get things picked up. But.... None of them worked long term. 

A few weeks ago, I was picking up some girls to bring to the next mom to take into town for volleyball (yes that sounds confusing but it takes a village to get all these athletes where they need to go, when they need to go!) I asked one of Arly's friends if she got to do anything fun with her extra hour that afternoon since it was Thursday and they get out of school an hour earlier than usual. She told me that on Thursdays, her sister and her clean the house and instead of an allowance or commission, the work they do is rewarded by how they spend their weekend. If they do a good job, they will get to go to the movies, spend time with friends, etc. 

Great idea!!!!!

I needed to figure out a way this concept would work for our family. That weekend I thought of many scenarios and finally landed on this one. We tried it, and now we are 2 weeks in and it's working splendidly! 

We have one night during the week that is currently not filled with another obligation. We use that night to get all of our house cleaning done. 

First I grabbed a chalkboard and wrote down 12 chores that needed done that week. The four oldest Sprys would each have 3 chores to do. 

Then I grabbed a bowl and cut up paper and put each of our names on just ONE. I have the chores broken into categories from hardest/takes the most time to easier/less time to complete the chore. This way, one person couldn't end up with the 3 hardest chores. For example; the kitchen and the 3 bathrooms were one category... 4 hard chores. The vacuuming, wood floors, dust upstairs, dust downstairs were the next category and so on. 

Then we simply drew names out of the bowl. Each would grab one name and we'd work down the list, putting a name next to who was in charge of the chore. Then dos the next category of chores, all 4 names went back into the bowl for the next drawing, and so on. 

This put a absolute end to the 'that's not fair!' and the 'I always have to do that!' and 'ew! Anyone want to trade?!' It's just the luck of the draw and so far, ZERO COMPLAINTS! Win!!!

Then we crank the music (not too loud for the littles' ears) and get after it. It takes about 2-2 1/2 hours to get our whole house cleaned but it relieves us of a weeks worth of stressing out about a dirty bathroom, bedroom, appliances, or whatever we see. 

For a mama that is home all day, this has brought much peace and order to our home. When there is a mess, my brain is a mess. When I feel overwhelmed, intend to shut down. This system is the perfect fix to help me be productive in my every day and let's be honest, keeps me a little calmer and my sanity in check! 

Oh and want to know what else is keeping me sane and is actually quite fun doing? Tidying our home! We're trying a new tidy method that has worked wonders for friends that are currently working through it or have finished. We are seeing success and sin through this method but I'll share more of that here oh so soon. 

Do you have a cleaning system that works for you? Have you struggled like us? I want to know! 

My Story

When you let fear sneak in and grip your soul, you essentially are welcoming the devil to reside in your heart. 

Unfortunately, we let him tell us lies and we listen. We close up; trap ourselves from what we know and find joy in because we now believe that nothing is good and no one cares. We shrink into a pit. 

That's where we were, both Joel and I... In a pit. A self pity pit and we sat there just surviving the everyday life. Not thriving. Not growing. Just there. Numb to the outside world. 

But then, the Holy Spirit made it very clear that we have this moment, today this season to grow in Him. 

When Anchor was in the NICU and the days leading up to delivery, I knew what it was like to be on my knees. Physically and spiritually I was there.... Praising, thanking, begging, loving, trusting.  There was no room for anger, resentment or fear. I knew what it felt like to be close to The Lord; wrapped in his loving arms. Peace. Even through utter chaos, scary days and isolating weeks.... Peace. 

But then somehow, sometime, in the midst of all the crazy 'back to somewhat normal' life at home, I chose to believe the fear and lies. 

I'm a woman of few real regrets. I've learned from so many choices I've made in the past that I don't regret even poor decisions. But I do however regret not journaling and sharing this story... My story. It has all happened so quickly but yet the days have dragged on and on. I thought sometime I'll record it; but never did. That time is now. 

I want to share my story. All of it. I don't want to forget any day... Happy, boring, sad, crazy, scary, unpredictable, fun day. I don't want to forget any event... Sudden, to be determined, planned, spontaneous event.

It feels so good to be sitting in our quiet, albeit messy house... Back on the keys where one by one, sharing my thoughts. I'm looking forward to opening my heart  again here; being vulnerable in my every day life and doing my very best to glorify our gracious Father for each moment. 

Anchored Hope Project - We need you to make this work

On May 4th, 2015, our lives were forever changed by the early arrival of our 4th child and only son, Anchor Joel. Born at 26 weeks (3 1/2 months early) at 1 lb 15 oz, we knew our journey home was going to be a long, hard one. But one thing we never lost was HOPE. Every minute, hour and day were overwhelming and isolating. 

While we were there, we knew we needed to connect to other families who had or were in the NICU but didn't know who or how. That's where the idea of Anchored Hope came from... to create a community of families who understand the exhaustion and joy that come from meeting their bundles of joy way too early. We have started a 

​F​

​acebook

 page to connect with these families but we also want to give support in a physical way too. That's where the idea of 'Hope baskets' came... and 

​the nudge from above is 

something we simply cannot ignore. There were so many things I wish I had as soon as Anchor was born but because of his unexpected delivery, we were not prepared or able to even think straight for a couple of weeks.

In the Hope baskets, we would like to include the following....

Calendar/journal - I knew writing down our thoughts and feelings were important but I simply felt overwhelmed by the amount of information we were given every 6 hours when our baby was assessed. By having a journal, I was able to record everything about Anchor but also our prayers and praises that day. This journal and calendar will be a treasure forever that we'll be able to share with our son someday.

Blanket - Although the hospital provides them for you, it made me feel like I was able to have a say in his comfort

​ w

hen we asked to use our own blanket that was new and so soft for his delicate little body. Since these precious ones are so very tiny and unable to wear clothing for weeks or even months, having a soft blanket really makes it feel like you're able to 'dress up' your baby even though it's only 

​covering the mattress your preemie sleeps on

.

Grow Buddy - If there is ONE thing I regret about our time in the NICU with Anchor Joel, it is that we didn't take his weekly photo with a stuffed animal to record his growth. Scentsy has the sweetest, softest stuffed animals called buddies that would be perfect for a 'grow buddy.' They would be the perfect toy to grow up with and look back to see how big the child is now compared to how tiny they were then. Also, with the buddy, a vanilla scent pak because the smell of vanilla is so calming to the parents and would be a comforting scent memory from the time in the NICU (as opposed to the smell of hand sanitizer!) One of our doctors also told us that the scent of vanilla, helps prevent apnea spells in infants.... so vanilla it is!

Baby Name on Banner - Our sweet friend handmade a precious banner with Anchors name on it 

​that​

 we hung it in his room. Spending eighty four days in the NICU, his private room really was his first nursery. Personalizing our space really made the room feel more cozy

​ and special​

. All the nurses and doctors, therapists and even janitors, loved hanging out in Anchors room. One little banner hanging from our babies isolette, lifted the spirits of not only us, his parents, but the spirits of anyone who walked into his room.

​ We want that same comfort for other NICU families too.​

Book - Sometimes you just want to do

​ the 'normal' thing and read your precious little one a book. We were given two books that are now memorized and hold a special place in our hearts. These could also help aid in the comfort of a preemie baby's sibling that is able to come visit.

Extras - Spending hours a day, every day of the week, for weeks on end, at the hospital, it's vital to have quarters in your pocket, gift cards to local restaurants, coffee cards and other cards/money on hand for when you need food, drink or a date with your spouse.

Mini Photo Sessions - Our dear and talented friend is a photographer who has volunteered her services to take babies first photos for these families. What a perfect and sentimental finish to our baskets that we pray breathe hope into families whose world has been forever changed. 

In order to make all of this happen, we need your help; it's bigger than we can do on our own. This project has been weighing on our hearts for some time, and it's our prayer that you will help make this a reality for our extended stay, NICU families here in Missoula Montana. It's our goal to have the first 24 Hope baskets ready to be delivered by November 17th: World Prematurity Day (Wear your purple! We will be!). With your help, we can make this our goal ​delivery day! 

​Thanks so much for continuing to pray for our growing boy, praying for our Anchored Hope baskets and giving if you are able. 

3 ways to give: 

1. Donate money here at our YouCaring. link or simply send your donation to jari.spry@gmail.com on PayPal. Please ​use the 'send money to family and friends' option so we can avoid processing fees on PayPal. If you can give $5, $10 or even $20 each month, your continuous giving will make this project thrive for months and hopefully years to come. 

​2. If you'd rather donate goodies for the basket, we have made an Amazon Wish List specific for our Hope baskets. Click this link, http://amzn.com/w/1L40C76CPUO69, and please send the following items to 11294 Stella Blue Dr, Lolo MT 59847. 

​3. Whether you are a Scentsy consultant or are a loyal customer to a consultant, please send a buddy of your choice with a Simply Vanilla scent pak to 11294 Stella Blue Dr, Lolo MT 59847. You can also order online at www.warmnsniff.com and choose the BUDDIES FOR BABIES party or click this link, https://jari.scentsy.us/?partyId=294663229 to order your buddy. All benefits and commissions from this party sale will go toward more buddies for the premature babies at the hospital Anchor was born, well cared for and loved. 

​Hope baskets are not a one time giving. It's our dream to send a dozen baskets to our local neonatal intensive care unit ​every month. This will take a village to complete... we need you. 

​Thanks for considering and please let us know if you have any questions at all.​

Anchored Hope... (when the need to give is more than you can handle)

You know when you get that overwhelming feeling of you HAVE to do it? That's where we are at right now. Actually, that's where we have been since before we came home with our little guy back in July.

There was a sense of isolation that I just couldn't shake. Joel felt it too. It wasn't for lack of calls and messages. Nor the lack of prayer or even food. Our family, church, friends, coworkers were amazing. We felt such love and support in the beginning and though it trickled after the weeks went on, we knew we were well prayed for and thought of often.

The neonatologists, nurses, therapists, actually everyone at Community Medical Center's NICU department were incredible. They made us feel welcomed and at home. They listened to our concerns and shared theirs as well. We felt like family (still do!) and loved completely. That wasn't the kind of isolation we felt either.

It's almost impossible to explain. It wasn't that we felt slighted or forgotten by God either. We knew He was with us and everything that happened in the days leading up to Anchor's birth and even the weeks after were all according to His plans. We were and are living the life He designed for us and honestly, we've never felt closer to Our Savior than we have since then. We truthfully never asked why... but what's next. We felt and still feel the overwhelming grace by God in all circumstances.

I didn't know then what it was we were feeling isolated from until a couple months ago. The strong sense of empty came from not being in community with other families that were currently or have went through a long term NICU stay because of a premature baby. I know there are many... MANY babies born early and need a few days in the care of these special doctors and nurses. Walking out of the hospital without your baby is one of the worst things imaginable and too many of you have had to do that for some reason or another. But walking through the hospital doors 252 times without your baby in your arms is heartbreaking. You just want to talk with someone who feels the same thing. Someone who truly knows what that emptiness feels like. How buckling up in your car and seeing a vacant back seat brings you to tears, sometimes uncontrollable, nearly every time. How waiting for the doctor to come in and give you your babies daily report would make you weak in the knees.

To be very honest, in my previous healthy births of our three daughters, I never gave one thought of the NICU. I never really knew what it meant even when other friends had their babies in the NICU for weeks. I never understood what that looked like... what that felt like. I didn't give it a second thought and for those friends who experienced this; and for that I am absolutely sorrow filled and sorry. I was not a good friend. I didn't understand.

The NICU was our second home for 84 days this summer. From May 4th until July 26th, we spent most of our days there, in Anchor's room, learning his care and holding him every chance we got; waiting for his daily schedule of tests and therapies, getting through one hour at a time and gradually being able to breathe easier as the days went on. Being exhausted but full of hope.... and lonely.

The way our NICU is set up is genius. There are private rooms for each baby and also rooms for sets of twins and triplets, so you have privacy to talk with your doctors and nurses, hold your baby, cry, laugh, pray, read, sing and cry some more. I loved that when I had to pump every 2 hours, I could do that comfortably. I loved that when we had family visit, we could have a quiet conversation. I loved that we could have our little family in there together before Avin would get too rambunctious and not share that space or time with anyone else.

But, the one downside to having private rooms, is that the only rare moments to meet other families with babies in the NICU, was walking through the hallway (we were in the first room so we barely saw other babies or families) or when we were waiting in line to wash our hands and arms upon entering the NICU. We needed a tribe. We needed people to talk with about everything.

Fortunately, we had a precious nurse who sat and cried with us and shared her journey with us as she was once in the same shoes as us. Until that moment, we didn't know anyone who would understand our feelings. Tiffany, you are an angel. Thank you.

We knew we needed to reach out and share our story. We knew we had to let others in our room... in our hearts. We met the sweetest couple who had the tiniest little girl who had lungs of a champ down the hall. We met the sincerest newlywed couple who had a little warrior that was proving God's amazing work. We said goodbye for now and congrats to two little girls who had grown big and strong and headed home with their families after several weeks of living the NICU life. Before we were discharged in July, we met an adorable couple with twin girls who were fighting like crazy and showing God's grace every hour.

The conversations we had with these families helped shape what is about to come. We need each other. We need to know that we are not alone and so does every family that has an extended stay, waiting for their precious child's daily report. We need to show them we care and most of all because we were there.

That's where Anchored Hope came from. Joel and I have spent several nights praying and planning what this looks like. We don't know exactly how it will work but we know it's what we need to do.

But first things first. If you are a NICU family in the Missoula area or spent many days in the the NICU in Missoula, we have created a facebook parent support group today. Please search 'Missoula NICU Parents' and add yourself. If you know of anyone who fits this group, please share this info. We need each other. We need to share our ups and downs, praise and prayer requests, during and beyond the NICU. We need this community. We need each other who understand each other.

But there is still more to come.....

To be continued......

5 months of Amazing

I can hardly believe it's been more than 5 months now since this little fella made his appearance. 

Official stats:

1 lb 15 oz at birth

10 lb 7 oz now

13 1/2 inches long at birth

21 inches now

On ventilator for breathing at birth

0.2 L/hr oxygen now

A little miracle at birth

Always showing signs of God's goodness now. 

I'm blown away by grace and overflowing with love. 

I mean, darn it, he's CUTE! 

Fear is Sneaky

Yesterday, fear made it's way into this house.

The big girls both have colds. Super yuck snotty noses. Razor blade slicing throats. Tired and exhausted little bodies.

We've been living like they have the worst disease. I have sanitized every surface in our home, focusing on handles (every doorknob, fridge, microwave, sink, garbage, toilet flusher, handrail, everything). I woke up with a runny nose and stiff eyes and beyond tired.

I was on high alert with the two young Spry babies. I spent most of the day washing Avin's hands and using 'hanitizer' on them almost after every move she made.

NO ONE touched Anchor except for me. I wouldn't allow it. What if he gets sick?

I spent entirely too much of the day watching his chest. Each rise up and then deflate down. I was trying to tell myself that he was labored in his breathing. It was almost as if I was looking for what was wrong rather than what was right.

In the later afternoon, I swore he looked pale as he was sitting in his swing. I quickly ran to the bedroom to grab is oximeter. Remember that thing that had abused me for too long? Yes, that little machine that told me how our days were going to be in the hospital. The one that kept me up for nights on end telling me to worry at every little move.

But this time, I was just going to grab a quick reading; just a spot check to see how he was doing. It was reading a little low.... for a while. I would watch. Anchor was sound asleep and when he should be 93+, he was sitting at 91-92.

So I did the most rational thing anyone would do.... I FREAKED OUT! My baby's sick! What are we going to do? How did this happen? Should I take him in right now?

Y'all, my baby wasn't/isn't sick. I am. I let Satan create a fear in me that I had let go of a while ago. I wasn't trusting in Jesus in that moment. I was trying to control every germ in our house. Have you ever tried to do that? Control every germ? It's exhausting... and impossible for us as humans. Only God has that power. But the devil was using my control as a way to creep in and plant fear in my heart.

After a prayer of release of control & fear,  I changed out our sweet boys oxygen cords, taped on a fresh cannula, grabbed him from his swing and cuddled him. As I was holding this little growing miracle, feeling his breath in sync with my own, I knew The Lord was telling me just to trust Him. Like we have from the beginning, we know we can't carry the burden of our breaths. Jesus has that for us. We just make sure we enjoy every moment we have while we are breathing.

That's what I was reminded yesterday. To trust. Again. Always. And then we took off the oximeter and got this sweet look. Oh my precious boy.

Our Heroes (NICU Nurses)

The term hero kind of sounds cliche. But truly, I can't think of another word that would even come close to describing how brave, intelligent, comforting and loving the Neonatal Intensive Care nurses are at Community Medical Center.

From the moment Anchor Joel was born on May 4th at a teeny 1 pound 15 ounces, not once did I feel that he could have been in better hands. There were many moments when just the look of kindness or sincerity would help calm my fears. The sure hands that helped my only son to my chest for the first time and even up to the hundredth time, I knew he was in the best care.

These nurses, whom I now call friends, were his moms when I couldn't be there. They cared for him and loved him while I was still heavily drugged for the first 2 days. They were my hands and comforting voice in between my 252 trips back and forth to the NICU.

Some heard me laugh every time my son would pass gas, some saw me mad at the scale the last few days there... but all of you saw me cry. Whether tears of exhaustion or tears of joy and hope, you were there to just listen.

Most of you new our faith and shared your stories of redemption with us too. The words we read together with each new bible verse we would hang on his bed, brought comfort to all of us. Some prayed with us each time we left our son.... and before every procedure or test he had. We thank you for your faith as it helped us keep ours strong.

One of you even walked me all the way to the emergency room the night I discovered I had mastitis; just so I knew exactly where I needed to go.

A few of you even found time to touch this mamas heart through baby feet crafts. I will cherish the foot anchor and Mother's Day craft. One of you helped me climb way back behind the isolette and ventilator machine to hang up his banner just to make it feel a little more like his home there. 

There really are not enough words of gratitude I could express to say how grateful Joel and I are for your care and comfort of our precious boy. My heart belongs to the NICU now. Your love helped carry us through that scary but incredible time we had in room 2.

I will never be the same because of you.

I love you.

XO.