Avin's first real fit. She was mad because I wouldn't let her play with the outlets.
But I'm not talking about her tonight.
I'm talking about me.
Tonight for dinner, the big girls had a Chopped challenge again. They were doing great but then they started to show off (probably because their dad AND their grandma were here watching tonight too).
I said something not very nice to Arly and Joel told me to stop. Then my pride was hurt. I pouted and walked to my room right as the girls dished up their meals.
I jumped in the shower and hid there with the door locked for about 40 minutes (yep, just like a real mature parent/adult)
When I got out, I got dressed and went to bed. I had every intention of going to bed (another mature move since it's my moms last night visiting) and not going back out to be with my family.
I had every horrible thought go through my mind about myself. As the self loathing was reaching its highest peak, I quickly grabbed my bible and started reading about anger and pride.
As soon as I finished reading James 4, Joel walked into the bedroom to check on me.
And we talked. A lot.
We talked about grace, love, pride, humility, anger, and change. How we need Jesus to help us change.
I can lose my temper and be very prideful. Too often. And usually my girls see this.
But they are so forgiving. They show me love and grace every day. They love Jesus and share His love and mercy every day with me.
I'm happy that I got out of the room, saw my sin for what it is, didn't let it define the rest of my night, and enjoyed the evening with a joyful heart.
I love that God's mercy is new every second. We don't have to wait... Until we change, until tomorrow.... We can only change through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Have you thrown a fit lately? Or is it just me.... And Avin?
XO
Jari
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