Y'all! Today I saw cottage cheese on my arm. Cellulite. ON. MY. ARM!!!!!

#ew

No words can describe how I truly feel about this. 

Here are some that might come close...

Sad. 

Disappointed. (In myself)

Shocked. (But not really)

Lazy. 

Unattractive. 

But here's the deal. Slowly I've been making small changes. 

My sweet friend Dawn challenged me with 28 days of no junk food. It went great! After the first week it truly was easy to stick to. Even when Joel and I were both tempted we chose no sugar. During the month of September I lost 7 pounds by simply just not eating junk food. Chips, soda, cookies, fast food, ice cream, etc was taken away for 4 full weeks. Since our month was up, we have each nibbled on a few sugary sweets but all 4 of us older Sprys have decided that these foods should be treated as... well, a treat. 

Now that the junk food was taken care of, it was time to get on the fitness wagon. My dear friend Allison invited me to be her accountability partner for the Peak313 5 week challenge. It's a great way to stick to something when you have a buddy cheering you on.... And calling you out when you need it. What I love about Peak313 is that you are learning scripture while exercising! That's my favorite.  We are just starting week two and so far so good. 

And just yesterday, I've started detoxing my body using Arbonne's 28 day restart. I could write a whole other blog post on how much I'll miss my wine and coffee but I remember my results last August and know that I need to stay committed to help shift our lifestyle just a bit. With Jenny as my encouragement, I know I can finish this too. 

I've tried to do more, be more... Try harder, try everything... But that simply doesn't work. Try the next thing when I quit the first, second, tenth. Go all in and quit things cold turkey. 

But each time my heart wasn't in it. 

Since our miscarriage this past June, I didn't realize how much I was drinking, eating, and how much I was sitting. I didn't have energy to do anything. And slowly, I've gotten up to my highest, non-pregnant weight and I can feel it. 

I look in the mirror and my head would say 'Do something! Anything! Get fit! Eat right! Do it!!!'

But for the longest time my heart wasn't in it. It simply wasn't ready. 

I spent many moments with tear filled eyes praying that I would be satisfied with who I am in Christ. That I would stop trying so hard and putting so much pressure on myself to look and be like half the fitness girls that I finally deleted off my Instagram account. 

I prayed for peace. And love. To feel accepted by the only One that matters. To be satisfied. To give The Lord all the glory in everything I do. To let go of my anger and bitterness. 

He answered my prayers. My heart feels healed. And now finally, my heart is in it. I don't want to do this for me... Or anyone else. It's time to be thankful for my body and create good habits that will be glorying to God. Because that's why we are here. To do all things for the glory of God.