When Plans Change

Today marks 81 days of life in the NICU. Today was also suppose to be the day that we were finally going to take our son through the hospital doors. But plans changed.

I've been able to take some curve balls with stride during the past 12 weeks here, but today was different. Today I felt devastated. Heartbroken. Sad. Frustrated. Defeated.

Today I also was humbled. Joel and I had taken down nearly all of his decorations. We said good bye to our nurses and friends.... because when they are pretty much the only people you've been around the past 3 months, they become friends who understand and love you through this big life event. He passed the car seat test. We took our CPR class. We finished all of our discharge checklist. He is gaining weight. We got comfortable with the easy coasting. We were used to taking only steps forward. It had been weeks since we've had a set back with Anchor's care; we were past that.

But we weren't. And we aren't.

During his morning check up, on the day of discharge, our little guys blood pressure was up. It had been slowly creeping up the past few days but we were told this is something we would just keep an eye on during our out patient care with our pediatrician. But this morning, we were told that it's high enough to be concerning. Anchor had to do more blood work and began blood pressure medicine per the request of the pediatric nephrologist from Seattle Childrens. They are sending his labs into Mayo Clinic for more comprehensive testing and to check kidney function.

So we are here. This is where we'll be until at least Sunday. And even though it's hard, and it sucks, and I'm sad, I know that this is exactly where we are suppose to be. The Lord's timing is always perfect and we will rest in that today.... and always.

Tonight, I will sit here, constantly being reminded of the blessings and constant favor God has shown us during the past few months... and I will rejoice.