I Write.

For some reason, I have not been here. Writing. On this blank, white screen.

Maybe it has been that I've been in the car the past 73 days. Driving back and forth to the hospital. Maybe it's been trying to nurse a teeny tiny baby with big huge boobs. Maybe it's been the lack of sleep. Or the lack of coffee. Or because I can't get these 'bing bings' from the monitors out of my head.

But what about the in between minutes and sometimes precious hours I was spending with our girls. Maybe it was because we were sitting on the back deck 'washing our toes' in the inflatable pool. Maybe I haven't written because I was cheering on our girls during the few games I got to watch this season. Maybe it's because we were hanging humming bird feeders, watering our new garden, or serving pretend 'cheeebugers' from the window on the new playhouse. Maybe.

Maybe it's because I'm drowning in medical bills and doctor appointments. Maybe it's because all I've been able to think about is which education is best for our two precious oldest daughters. Or maybe I haven't even opened my computer in weeks because I've been cleaning closets and spending my spare time journaling, sleeping and reading books that have been sitting on my shelf for too long that need to get finished. Maybe it's because Joel and I have been binge watching Scandal because our girls are away and we are completely bored with a list of to dos a mile long. Maybe.

But I think the main reason I haven't been here, why I haven't been present and openly talking about our journey is because the devil is telling me that no one wants to hear it. That I could never tell this story good enough. The story that I'm living. The journey that I'm on. That it wouldn't mean anything to anyone else. He's been telling me that I don't have time to share.

Sometimes it takes a sweet soul to remind you that Satan is not in control. Jesus is. And our story, this incredible story of ours... our everyday life...  the boring, the miraculous, the hard and sweet, the scary and joyful.... is meant to be shared.

I named this blog Everyday Jari. There is nothing special about me. No super powers that are getting me through this season in life. I deserve nothing. But I want this story, our story, here. I want to be raw and real, authentic and genuine... in the crazy and the lazy (<---- I'm already starting to pray for lazy days!)... but.. BUT I want to glorify Christ and live for Him. I want to share. And it's time I choose to be brave and talk about everything we've been going through. If for anything.... for me. For my family to have as a journal during this incredible, wonderful, stressful and beautiful season of our lives.