I Miss 'Normal'

Written on June 19, 2015:

Alyn hit an infield GRAND SLAM today during a game in Great Falls!

And both her dad and I missed it. This makes me sad. It's missing out on 'life' with our girls for the past 47 days that has been the hardest... and saying 'see ya later' to our son 3 times a day stinks too.

I just miss our normal. I miss not being able to braid the girls' hairs before their games. I miss cheering for them like a wild lady on the sidelines. I miss seeing Joel out there coaching the group of girls he loves so much. I miss chasing Avin around the park. I miss resting my hands on my pregnant belly. I miss Joel feeling the baby kick.

I may have had a little sadness in my voice when I asked Joel tonight.... "This is not how I pictured our summer. Did you?"

His instant reply "Nope. But God's plan is far better than we could ever imagine."

And it's so true.

I never thought in a million years that we would have our baby at 26 weeks. I never knew what joy and heartache we would endure. I don't even know how we are getting through these days with so much crazy and so much waiting we have to do.

I just miss our normal.

I would go on to tell you that I'm excited for our new life and what it looks like so I don't sound ungrateful or come off as a drag.... but I'm just being real. I'm just being honest. I miss our old normal. A lot.